My first STD was from a foam party
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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