trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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