she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
