I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The air taste purple.
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