I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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