its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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