It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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