i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
