Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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