I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
