I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
