Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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