i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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