Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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