Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize