i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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