Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
