I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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