i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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