I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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