YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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