Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
