Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
