just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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