Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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