well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
