i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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