I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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