He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
