I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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