I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
