But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
