please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
