Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
