maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
