Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
