Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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