You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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