Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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