just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
