So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize