found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
