The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
