What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize