I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
