I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
