did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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