my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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