idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
