What a fucking waste of an outfit
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
