I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
