I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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