I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
